its been a really long time since i last posted.
fell sick 2 weeks ago and it hit rock bottom with me having high fever of 39 degrees exactly one week ago.
as usual, the symptoms evolved from one to the other but i was never spared from being a phlegm-monster, coughing incessantly in a disgusting manner for more than 1 week.
hahaha. seriously, i didnt wanted to see doctor cause i haven't been to the clinic over such common sickness and even when i was down with a fever of 39 degrees.
but i came to terms with my semi-conscious mind and decided to head for the clinic before i waste my precious time coughing away rather than preparing for my exams.
tutorials, revisions, lecture tests, mock exams, prelims.. they are all piling up and it seem as though its an insurmountable task to accomplish.
i'm totally deprived of sleep and i'm almost like a walking zombie limping to school everyday.
arghh. is someone under stress actually able to tell that he/she is under stress?
i seriously think im under stress right now and i think its like the cause of my fatigue.
everyone in class is trying to finish the assignments as soon as they can now.
and i'm so behind all of them cause i was sick and not being able to really focus on the assignments.
):

on the lighter note, i think meet the parent teacher meeting went well.
it was planned that my dad was to attend the session but my mum went instead.
it was good cause i wanted her to attend all along cause i feel that she's the one who has more impact over my studies. not that my dad is bad but its just that my mum is the one who pulls me back to reality most of the time.
anyway, i feel that its good that my mum attended the session cause she can understand the process im undergoing now and would really spur me on.
but it was when my mum started expressing her pessimism of me not being to enter the university which made me began to take a little step back.
you see, i'm not really worried at this point of time cause i believe that i'm actually doing okay although there's alot of room for improvement.
i'm not being complacent and arrogant here but its that i'm doing relatively better than the lot.
my mum also said that she's not going to send me overseas if i do not get into a local university.
i'm really starting to develop this paranoia of not being able to keep up with the others.

oh, i'm really feeling happy these few days cause i was able to absorb what my teachers are all explaining.
the sense of accomplishent and the ability to further reinforce my learning actually put smiles on my face.

career fair held in school went really well for me, although my mind is set to enter smu/nus ECONOMICS.
was able to really open myself up to a greater variety of different courses including those engineerings.
over these two years, i realised engineering isn't the stuff for me especially the physics which accompanies.
and now that i'm exposed to economics in jc, i realised i have the interest and passion in this area of study and how artsy-phastsy i am.
anyway, my mind is set and my direction is clear - ECONOMICS here i come.
and i'm glad to say that i've found my strongest source of motivation.
((: